BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. Do not tell me because I do not care.

On the internet, Youtube in particular, some black men feel the need to explain why they cannot date or marry black women. They usually list one or more of the following reasons:

~Black women are obese.
Being ‘thick’ seems to be more accepted in the black community, but obesity is increasing across the world, and no race is immune to it. Why pretend that black women are the only ones with weight issues? I’m a member of a weight loss site, and most of the women I’ve seen there are white. There are quite a few men there too, so why pretend that black women are the main ones with a problem?

~Black women are loud.
If these men met a few loud women, why did these few women reflect back on an entire community? White, Asian, and biracial women shout, scream, and cuss too. Most of the black women I’ve met in my life know how to stand up for themselves, and that’s a good thing, so why are strong/aggressive women always put in a negative light? Not all of us want to be dainty flowers waiting for a man to pick us.

~Black women want bad boys.
It is sad when lovely guys are overlooked for ‘bad boys’ with kids they barely see, frequent trips to jail, and no employment. However, these men can’t expect us to believe that they asked every black girl they could find before striking us all off their list. If one ignorant girl wants a boy who will treat her like dirt, keep it moving until you find a smart, mature woman.

~Black women are ‘ghetto’.
None of the black women I know are ‘ghetto’ so I can only assume that these ‘ghetto’ women come from a ‘ghetto’ area, which happens to be where you reside. If they aren’t good enough for you, move.

~Black women have ‘nappy’/bad/natural hair.
Being a black man, the odds of you having ‘nappy’/bad/natural hair on your own head are pretty high. If you love straighter/curlier hair then why don’t you relax/press your hair? How can you complain about what is growing out of someone’s head when you’ve got the same thing coming out of yours? Women change so much to attract a man (make-up, clothes, etc) so can’t we at least have our hair the way we want it to be?

~Some black women have dark skin.
And some black men have dark skin as well. Basically this is a racist statement to make, and so is ‘You’re pretty…for a dark chick’, which is supposed to be a compliment.

In part two, I will tell these men why they don’t have to give these reasons.

In 2001 Destiny’s Child brought us Survivor, and independent women stood up to be accounted for. We wanted our own jewellery, our own cars, and our own houses. We wanted to be in complete control of our destinies and no man could stop us.

Was this all BS?

Lately I’ve realised that it probably is. Some women want to be financially independent, but complain if a man doesn’t open a car door for them. Some women proclaim to WANT a man but not NEED one, but then they need him to pay on their dates. Some women don’t want to be told what to do, but then rely on a man to wear a condom. Some women don’t want to be judged on their looks, but say this whilst flashing their best ASSets. Some women

Either you’re independent or you’re not. If you want to be treated equally then you shouldn’t be able to pick and choose when this happens, because men definitely can’t. They’re always expected to go to work, always expected to pay for protection even though sex (usually) involves another person, is dumped if they share the cost of a date, and so much more. Is that equality?

Can you choose when to be ‘equal’?

It even goes beyonce men versus women. You might not want to be judged for being non-white, homosexual, disabled, etc but if you stood to gain something for being ‘different’ from a ‘white, heterosexual male’, would you let being equal slide…?

Instead of saying, “I’m an independent woman” maybe we should be saying, “Yeah, I’m an independent woman…when I feel like it.”